1. “Every time I bring back the ball he just throws it again.”
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2. “I can’t remember which plants I’ve already peed on.”
3. “Come back later. I’m very busy feeling sorry for myself.”
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4. “I can’t even remember what I can’t even about.”
5. “Forty-eight whole minutes until dinner.”
6. “If I had opposable thumbs, maybe I could cook my own bacon.”
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7. “The movie was sad, so I ate it and I’m still sad.”
8. “If you’re listening, God, then please…grant me the ability to catch my own tail.”
9. “Somebody filled in the hole I dug. Now I’ll never get to China.”
10. “I just realized that cats will never know what it’s like to be a dog.”
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