1. They can stand on two legs. They can stand on two legs like a goddamn human.
2. They have eyes on the sides of their head so they can always judge your every move.
3. Lord only knows what kind of demon of the night can stand so fiercely while wind blows through their mane.
4. There’s a reason the bad guys always show up on horseback…
5. They could potentially pounce on you at any given moment…
6. They are not smart…
7. They’re definitely plotting your demise and gossiping about it with all horses…
8. And you know they’re probably seeking revenge because we sit on them all the time.
9. They’re so strong they could probably kick you all the way to outer space…
10. It’s like a stampede of death…
11. Horses! Not to be trusted…
12. Don’t think to get one of these monsters. It will be the worst thing you ever do!
